Shadow Side

I've noticed of late how humans will shrug off , hide or do their very best to ignore what some call their "shadow side". My own feeling is that to be free, to feel whole and vital we need to embrace all that we are, accept where we have come from along with our dreams for the future. The sooner we find a way to do this the sooner we find a way to full emotional wellness. I recently can across these wonderful poems from a mermaid (okay her real name is Charlene Hickey) this is her blog  http://www.mermaidwings.blogspot.co.uk/
I'm really enjoying how she expresses the human condition with all of its wonderful facets.

Here are two of her recent poems.... enjoy!

'Something happened yesterday and I had to stop and think,
A song came on the radio, so many times I've heard that voice sing,
It reminded me of a past time, one that would make me cry,
Yet I couldn't turn it off and so I asked myself 'why'?
Why would I do something that I knew would cause me pain?
When I could simply change the station and be in the new paradigm again,
Why would I choose pain when it feels so good to be in my bliss?
What is it that pulls me back? What do I think I'll miss?
My Shadow whispered shyly, 'We're scared that the memories will dissolve'
In this time of evolution where the planet will evolve,
Will you forget all the struggle? The determination, the emotion, the drive?
Will you forget the things that brought you to the place where you now thrive?
Those memories are so painful it's true,
But they remind you of the struggle through,
The time when you did your very best, even if that meant just staying alive,
When there were times you could have given up and just let your body die,
They remind you of the golden flickers of hope, they remind you of the 'Call',
The knowing that there was more than this, no matter how many times you'd fall,
So you see', my Shadow whispered, 'I have much love for those difficult times, 
And so even though it seems crazy, I like to do things that bring the memories back once in a while'.
Then my Heart spoke back gently 'I understand Dear Shadow Self,
But I want to be happy, I want to be in good health,
Holding on so tight to those memories causes discomfort and dis-ease,
I want my energy to flow free,
I promise you Dear Shadow that I'll never forget the work you've done,
I'll never forget the times where suffering was also mixed up with fun,
It's all served it's purpose,  and for the experience I am glad,
So let us find a way to let go and still remember but without feeling sad,
For every sad memory I'm dedicating a star,
And I'll send it up with Love to the cosmos afar,
Out there they can live and out there they can shine,
Any negativity turned into Divine,
If I like I can watch them burn out in space
I can watch them shoot across the sky and return to Grace,
Or I can gaze at them twinkling eternally,
Reminding me of my amazing journey,
And fear not Dear Shadow, even if I can't look up to the sky,
The whole of the cosmos lives within me,
So every single star stays inside'.

'Make friends with Life'

Life wants to be enjoyed,
It so wants to play with you,
It wants you to be happy,
And do whatever you want to do.

It smiles from ear to ear,
When you listen to your heart,
And helps you to find a way,
To achieve whatever it is you start.

Life walks with you in the woodlands,
It loves to swim with you in the sea,
It holds your hand on moonlit nights,
And loves you endlessly.

Life wants you to be curious,
It wants to go and explore,
All the secret hidden places,
Where no one's been before.

Because that's where the magic lives,
In the adventures yet to be told,
Make friends with life and watch,
How quickly your freedom then unfolds.

THE KEY TO EMOTIONAL WELLNESS

This video below is of my beautiful wise young buddy Yahyar Bakkar, we did some awesome coach training together where over many months all of us participating transformed and expanded as people in many areas of our lives. We learned a new psychology that regular talking therapy has been missing for a loooong time. 

As our group progressed together, we experienced regular relationship’s transform into outstanding marriages, families in conflict began working together in harmony, women began to confidently step into their feminine, food addictions fell away and slender people started to emerge!  

Those of us already working as coaches, therapists, public speakers etc began to incorporate this psychology into our work and oh boy have we seen amazing success for our clients. It was and still continues to be a beautiful journey of love. During this time Yahya was on this incredible journey to locate and meet his birth mum. It was a privilege to watch this unfold, some of it even literally streamed live on Thailand TV (queue the tissues!) This part of Yahya’s story is one of growth, trust and surrender. He works with young people inspiring them to know themselves, love themselves to grow into fabulous confident adults.

 Here in this vid he shares 3 misconceptions I often hear from my own clients when we start working together...

1. I have to prove my love in order to be loved.

2. I am not worthy of love because the people I love don’t accept me.

3. I'll be complete once this person, behavior or thing fills this emptiness that I feel deep inside.

Your very existence on the planet means that you are important and you matter, in our coach training our teacher Tony Robbins showed us and we saw for ourselves over and over that we experience love when we give love.

 We don't need someone else or anything else to prove to us that we are in fact love. Your key to freedom is in finding the right way for you to dissolve any fear that is a barrier to experiencing the authentic love that you already are, this is where your emotional wellness resides and this is my most favorite part of my work. 

Enjoy the vid and do something beautiful for you today. 

Wishing you exceptional emotional wellness,  Dawn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ep41mCa2ZVc

HARMONIOUS WELLNESS

Uni-verse literally means "one song"

Every colour has a corresponding sound frequency , everything is holistic and complimentary, everything in the universe is harmonious. If you could consciously hear the wavelength of the primary colours, red, yellow and blue you'd hear a Major chord. The octave in music is actually a ratio of frequency between two notes. The ratio is 1:2 and this ratio is considered to be the most "harmonious" of all.

Our ears hear tones in terms of hertz (Hz), or cycles (the number of times a wave repeats itself) per second. Our brain waves are typically explained in ranges and are greatly influenced by sound waves.  Certain music can have great beneficial effect on the body, it slows the pulse and heart rate lowering blood pressure, decreases levels of the ageing stress hormone cortisol in the body, which in turn will improve the body’s immune system.

We usually intuitively "know" what colour vibration we need for our wellbeing and will choose our clothes for the day accordingly. For most people having their home decorated in neutral calming colours is most comfortable, bringing in accents of colour occasionally with soft furnishings (we all know folk who have decorated their sitting room in a crazy moment of madness then redecorated soon after because they couldn't live with it permanently) When we look at red for example, it increases the heart rate as it's a stimulating colour. This reaction of alarm goes all the way back to caveman days with the association of running and hunting. We have the opposite response to blue, the blue wavelength has a calming effect on our system, from cool duck egg blue walls to the staple navy blue jacket, used in balance blue can be a real leveller. 

Research shows that in homes for the elderly, a yellow communal sitting-room will keep the conversation flowing and the occupants alert. In the dining room white brown and green will aid appetite and digestion, in their bedroom’s lavender and lilac aids restful sleep promoting emotional wellness.

Light and sound has such a profound effect on our mental, emotional, and physiological state that we need to consider having as natural a rhythmic lifestyle as possible to be at optimum health. Sleeping when the sun goes down, wearing colours that feel "right" for us, eating seasonally grown foods, switching off electronic Wi-Fi household equipment at night so we're not bombarded with electromagnetic fields interfering with our own resonance and rhythms and spending time outside in natural light will all help to maintain your energy vibrating in harmonious song with the universe.

Curiosity

CURIOUS...this my word for the week. Socially I usually find naturally curious people a bit more fun to be with. My hubby and I celebrated 12 years married this weekend and in part being curious is what has kept us up close and happy for so long. Our shared fascination of life, of people, of our thought patterns, of each other’s behaviour patterns all contribute to us being in an open state of allowing and acceptance most of the time. He calls me keyhole Kate because I'm so curious as to how some people work. I’m curious to find out how they respond mentally and physically to their environment, I like to laser focus and find what makes people tick the way they do, being a detective is one of my fave aspects of my work as well as being curious enough to find solutions. His curiosity with nature and the flow of the seasons means that he always has something fun to bring to the relationship table. Another thing I find interestingly curious too; is him being out-doorsy and going with the natural rhythms of daylight and life, at 53 he hasn't ever suffered any kind of depression; he doesn't even suffer low moods. So I simply conclude, that this week's action for happiness is to get outside and get curious. Dawn ☀

Coulda Should Woulda

The word should makes me laugh, what does it even mean?

 should  /SHo͝od/

Verb: Used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions: "he should have been careful".

Indicating a desirable or expected state: "by now students should be able to read".

See? It means nothing particularly apart from to argue with reality, and what is ever the point of that unless you want to give yourself a headache or heart attack!

If we take the above dictionary example "he should have been more careful" we can assume that there are consequences for not taking enough care. Well okay, but let’s keep in present time (because that’s where our power exists) and deal with the consequences of not taking enough care instead of drowning in the story of "shoulds".

 He obviously didn't take enough care so that's it, that's the experience, there isn't any "should of" it simply doesn't exist. We can't change the experience we can only change the story we tell ourselves about it, so free yourself up by choosing to only deal with the reality. I was at a workshop with Byron Katie recently and she reminded everyone again that if you argue with reality you lose, but only 100% of the time!

Another exhausting example of "should” I hear over and over is "I should really be doing X Y or Z"

The reality is that you are not actually doing X Y or Z, so either give yourself a permission break and actually enjoy what you are doing/being in this present moment, or just get on with X Y Z, because if you're junking up your inner dialogue in the present with future got-to's, you're not fully present anyway, you're not experiencing a peaceful mind.

In my marriage education training, my teacher Tony Robbins pointed out over and over, that people say their partners "should" this and they "should" that, in fact they "should" all over themselves far too much! We need to stop "shoulding" all over ourselves and our relationships.

So of course I'm not saying you "should"  :-)   but I invite you to drop "should" from your vocabulary for a while and experience how freeing it feels for you and those around you.  Dawn 

I was just thinking...

Every movement, every emotion, how we experience, comes from thought.

We think ourselves how to be and how to do.

We can think consciously, with focus and awareness.

We can often run old thinking programs from our subconscious without realizing it.

Our stress is stressful because of the story we're thinking and running about it.

We don't have to believe everything we think.

Whatever you decide to think, your brain will find references to prove you right over and over. Your subconscious will be creating experiences to show you, whether it's feels pleasant or not.

Without believing stressful thought, we're more open; we hear and see with more clarity, we’re more understanding, less judgemental, more open and loving.

Freedom comes when we shift our thinking.

We can think a new think any time we like. 

EMOTIONAL EATING 101

Our emotions motivate us, if you are carrying too much weight then chances are you've got some emotional areas to explore. Be honest with yourself, are you most hungry in your head? your heart? or your stomach? 

Becoming aware of your thoughts and actions will be your first key to understanding the decisions that you've been making. Honest self awareness can allow you to raise your standard for yourself and create healthier choices.
Get a journal, a little portable diary that will not only help you to keep your eye on your goal but will also become your honesty blog. In your new health diary you are going to write everything that you consume to discover what is triggering you to make the choices you make.

In your journal you will write...

1, what you ate/drank
2, how were you feeling I.E. what happened just before you ate/drank
3, what you were doing when you ate/drank it.
4, where were you when you ate/drank it.
5, when did you eat/drink it
6, why you chose that food/ drink particularly
7, who were you with

Now that you have this valuable information you can further your insight by being honest with yourself and name your feelings... 
Next to the number 3's you can simply name and write the emotion or feelings you were experiencing. You could name them as worry, anger, hurt, frustration, anxiety or sadness. Writing this down will help you to recognise and be honest about your emotional triggers around food and drink.

In a short period of time your journal will highlight emotional eating patterns some examples can be...  eating for a reward, eating "on the go", drinking to wash away the day, stuffing down your anger, eating or drinking to shield you from anxiety,  patterns of lazy snacking or even to spite a parent. Who knows what other peoples triggers are? but once you are aware of your own eating habits patterns and triggers, a whole new world of possibilities opens up to you. 

If your diary simply shows you're consuming unhealthy snacks on the go - prepare ahead and pop some fruit or nuts in your bag for those moments. If it's because you need to feel in control of something then start creating more certainty in other areas of your life to gain that control. If it's relationship issues that are getting you into the habit of eating for connection and comfort - then seek advice from a coach on how to improve this area of your life. If you're eating or drinking to avoid falling into a big sad hole of past experiences then again get help with those emotions, I promise you food will never resolve these issues for you. What ever your emotional cause for eating, face it and get help to resolve it.

Your future and power is in your hands, when you have the above information written out in black and white in front of you, you have the power to ditch the old map, improve, create, step-up and transform.  Any "yeah buts"  or  "it's hard for me because" or "it's different for me"  stories you're telling yourself are just that, they're stories that will keep you stuck and keep you eating for unhealthy reasons. Create a new story with a compelling future, visualise yourself healthy and get a plan.

Once you've decided that you deserve to make better choices for yourself, take action (and a new decision is only real once you have taken action) Enlist someone who will hold you accountable. In fact research shows you are 3 times more likely to be successful when you share a new eating or exercise plan with someone you respect, so do involve those around you.

Good luck   Dawn ☀